A Place Where I Belong

Things weren’t very specific
they never were terrific
but I held my head high
and fought the urge to cry
as I walked away
never again to stay
any place for very long

Friends come and friends go
seeds of depth, never to sow
protecting my heart from pain
finding myself out in the rain
looking on in a jealous rage
feeling older than my age
my soul, lost of its song

This prison is of my own making
there’s absolutely no mistaking
the hell I’ve created here on Earth
eternally searching for my worth
in someone else’s eyes
only to find a world full of lies
and always feeling like I’m wrong

If I want to find the joy of life
I have to give up the need for strife
and suffering as a way of being
to look upon the world, and seeing
the beauty and love that surrounds me
to set my heart and soul free
and find a place where I belong.

train whistle

The train whistle calls me to you
I ache to feel your arms around me
protecting me, like a snug cocoon
I long for the touch of your lips on mine
as our tongues explore the passion of a kiss,
our bodies intertwined in understanding
that no one, nor nothing, would come between us again
and you gently reach out to me
in your sleep and pull me close
I know I am safe
but I lay awake in an empty bed
as the train whistle echos through
my empty heart

Goodbye to Love

I've never been in love
I'm afraid to fall in love
and I'm afraid I won't
I loved you. I loved you very much.
but I never fell in love with you.
I thought we were soul mates
but you never fell in love with me
so I never fell in love with you
but oh, how I wanted to
back then. But now, I don't know.
I don't know if I can trust you with my heart;
I know I'll be heart broken
in the end.
because in the end, my friend,
we must always say goodbye.

by Shawn Ann Murray ©2014

someone tickled my heart
I started to fall
hoping to finally feel
this thing called love
it was all a game
leaving me heart broken
without love
and my friend

Copyright 2013 by Shawn Ann Murray

ice-blue

I saw you today
or someone who looks like you
but he didn't have your eyes,
your dancing vivid ice-blue eyes
that looked at me with love
I can only see your eyes
in photographs now
and they no longer dance

Copyright 2012 by Shawn Ann Murray

the world is not ending

the world is not ending,
it's not even pending,
nothing is that important,
nor are you that brilliant,
that the world must stop,
while you lose your top,
get angry if you must,
scream, rant, cry and cuss,
take notice, someone might,
but to hurt another, you have no right,
worry yourself sick,
and watch the seconds tick,
the rest of your life away,
as the rest of us play,

by Shawn Ann Murray ©2011

my soul is fine

please save your judgement,
my soul is just fine,
it's your friendship
that I now mind,

when topics turn
to sex, religion or politics;
the conversation,
I rush to nix,

you have your beliefs,
and I have mine,
and the twix
rarely combine,

if we are to be friends,
avoid topics thrice;
talk about the weather,
will surely suffice,

better yet, let's forget;
the damage is already done;
talk about me, and around me,
and have your fun,

the one's I call friends
can debate topics of the day
without causing my heart
to turn to ash or clay,

by Shawn Ann Murray ©2011

disappointing

I've heard it said
that friendship
is the only
choice we have.

we can't
choose our family,
and we
can't choose
who we fall
in love with
but we can choose
our friends,

which is why
it's so disappointing
when a friendship
ends
and leaves a hole
in your heart
that never mends,

by Shawn Ann Murray ©2011

save your judgement

Judge not lest yea be judged
but yet you judge me anyway
your book is so important to you
but have you really read it?

What is more important to you,
our friendship or my soul?
must be neither if you attack me so,
judge not lest yea be judged.

judging me just shows
that you have a need to judge,
do you feel better about yourself?
but yet you judge me anyway.

I have my beliefs, and you yours,
though similar, they’ll never be the same,
my truths don’t come from a book while
your book is so important to you.

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”
is the only statement biblical scholars concur,
that, in the Bible, Jesus, Himself, spoke,
but have you really read it?

by Shawn Ann Murray ©2011

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This poetic form is called a Cascade and is a creation of the poet Udit Bhatia. The rules:

*The first stanza can be any length
*Each subsequent stanza must use a line from the first (in order) as the final line of that stanza -- until all the lines from the first have been used.
*And that's it. No restrictions on meter or rhyme.

(paraphrased from the article Poetic Asides by Robert Lee Brewer in the February 2011 issue of Writer's Digest)

and what were you thinking?

"deals on heels"
the oldest profession?
got to get
my head out of the gutter.
it's only
a sale on shoes.

by Shawn Ann Murray © 2011

a writer's life

meditate & morning pages,
walk a mile or exercise,
edit my words & write some more;
my daily routine,

oh, how I wish my life
were that simple,
just to walk to the mailbox
& collect my royalty checks

but it's off to work I go
& pray I have pen handy,
& free time to write down
the dandy snippets the Muse sends,

by Shawn Ann Murray ©2011

blood from turnips

sometimes you must
draw blood from a turnip
to entice the Muse
to bless you with inspiration

by Shawn Ann Murray ©2011

haiku #22

as I listen to
the sounds of spring, I wonder
do birds ever breathe?

Sevenling (The Sounds of Spring)

The sounds of Spring in the air-
birds and crickets chirping, squirrels chattering,
a beautiful day in early May.

All the windows open, listening-
pounding bass car radio, lawn mowers,
and the hammering of neighbor's new construction-

thank Heavens for air conditioning.

relatively

"Are you happy?"
those words
glare at me
from the pages
of the book
I was reading
for pleasure,
and my mind
starts spinning.
Am I happy?
relatively,
at least
I'm not
depressed,
which,
for me,
is good,
relatively,
but sad,
in a way.
the bad
far outweigh
the good
but for now
I'm happy
to be happy,
relatively

by Shawn Ann Murray © 2011

haiku # 21

headlights are to see,
as much as they're to be seen;
a spring evening drive

by Shawn Ann Murray © 2011

haiku #20

spring is in the air
peach, and pink, and bright coral
shirts on the golf course

by Shawn Ann Murray © 2011

haiku #19

sun shines on my face
brightens my sourest mood
all's well in my world

by Shawn Ann Murray © 2011

Out There

out there, for the world to see,
out there, just little ole' me,
striped, naked, bare -- free?
whatever may be, will be,

my soul stretched taunt,
looking as if to flaunt,
but really ready to daunt,
and wishing rather to haunt,

my heart, my soul, my being,
without ever really seeing,
while my mind continues dreaming,
and seeks evermore ways of fleeing,

my words are out there
and just to show you care,
publishing my work, you dare,
my soul, on show, I must now bear,

by Shawn Ann Murray © 2011

Semblance of Normal

I've never been normal
not even for normal's sake
 forty-something female
 never married, no kids
people wonder what is wrong with me
even I, at times, think there's a screw loose
 but just what is normal anyway?

I spend my time doing what I love
crafting words into sentences, or sentences into poems
 maybe, maybe not, so eloquently, at times
 and maybe this is not one of those times
but at least I'm trying -- or doing -- or being
who and what I want to be
 but just who is normal anyway?

you may pity me -- or despise me
for my seeming lack of commitment
 I try to minimize my time constraints
 but even I still have bills to pay
maybe soon -- maybe someday
writing will nourish more than my soul
 why is your life normal, who can say?

by Shawn Ann Murray © 2011