Can someone tell me about Pat?

Can someone tell me about Pat?
He was 11 the last time I saw him.
How was I supposed to know
that that would be the last time I saw him?

He moved away that summer
between Elementary and High School,
new school, new friends, new beginnings,
do we miss the old friends that moved away?

He was infatuated with me,
while I was not so much,
but he was my first steady
and we never even kissed.

I could have been nicer to him.
I could have been nicer to any of them.
Is that the pattern I set up for my life?
Is that the one he set up for his?

To be disappointed by everyone?
Or to be the dissappointment?
Sometimes I'm confused as to which one I am
as I'm sure he too was confused.

Confused so much as to take his own life.
I ask myself if I'd only been kinder
to my 11 year old friend
could I have saved the man he'd become?

Could his life and his death
still have a purpose for me?
Can I open my eyes to see
beyond what's in it for me?

The existence of my questions
should be enough for me
to realize even the questioning
means there's hope yet for me.

Do the tears I now shed
after 31 years, comfort anyone?
After feeling so lost and alone
what else could he have done?

I carry my loneliness locked deep inside of me
as I struggle and fight to set my personality free
so afraid to be hurt, so afraid to be me,
taking ones own life, how hard can that be?

Theif

You take from me
what you want
but don't you see
how it hurts you
in the long run?
Not only do you risk
losing your job
and going to jail
and losing my respect
but the costs go up
and the prices climb higher
and the hours get cut
and you can't find a job
and you can't pay your bills
and the bills go higher
and the cost of living goes up
and the poor get poorer
and inflation increases
as the dollar decreases
and the stock market crashes
and unemployment skyrockets
and the government collapses
and our children go hungry
and die
and all because you had to have
that DVD for free.

Copyright © 2010 by Shawn Ann Murray

Sketch

I always wanted to sketch you,
your lean half naked body
lying on the bed as you read
a book, the slight ripple
of muscles you called abs,
leading the eye toward the
slight curve of your stomach
where the light hairs
became noticable as they
drew together in a line
leading toward your unzipped
jeans, the hollow of your hip
barely visible,
the sketch pad abandoned
and even your bare naked feet
couldn't keep me from you.

Copyright © 2010 by Shawn Ann Murray

Thinking of You

It's raining
and I think of you.
We never danced in the rain,
kissed in the rain,
sang in the rain,
or even pissed in the rain,
but yet,
I think of you.

Copyright © 2010 by Shawn Ann Murray

The Fool Moon

The fool moon
whispers softly
to the rain
as she dances
across the window pain

The fool moon
sings of his love
to the rain
as she softly falls away
pat, pat, pat
through the leaves of the trees

The fool moon
laments
his love
to all who would listen;
the sun, the clouds, the stars
in the sky
until the fool moon
watches
the rain kiss the sun
and give birth
to a rainbow.

Copyright © 2010 by Shawn Ann Murray